Updated: May 17, 2020
As I sit down at my writing table, there are three pairs of glasses next to my book and laptop. Each has a specific purpose and does their job so well. One pair is for reading, one for computer work, and one a-supposed-all-around progressive lens. The latter is the pair have on most of the time, if I’m not at work, and as soon as I roll out of bed. Right now, as I type this, I’m wearing the rose gold, slightly pointed cat-eyes. They’re a single vision lens, set at 24 inches. They do their job well.
I’m 54 now and this is just the way it is. My progressive lenses just didn’t do the job anymore for everything, which for me, has been since I was 21 years old when I was first prescribed glasses. A few years ago I had to get reading glasses, that was my second pair, but the progressives just didn’t work for my 40-hour a week computer-facing job anymore. When I realized I needed this 3rd pair, I was prescribed progressives that were supposed to be for a combination of reading and computer work. I’m near-sighted, far-sighted and have an astigmatism. And, as I have gotten older, neither of the two pairs were clear for the computer at work. I guess I’m a complicated gal, or maybe it’s just that over-50 thing. That 3rd pair of glasses is when the lesson kept coming back around, smacking in the face, reminding me that I still needed to work on acceptance and letting go. I already struggle, argue with the finality of, not being able to wear contacts…one pair of contacts all the time, to feel free when I swim and paddleboard, or do any sport for that matter. Evidently, I’m not a great candidate for laser surgery either. Poor me. Call me a whaaabulence.
I already hated always having to make sure I had the dorky sunglass-clip-ons with me every time I was out since I hadn’t purchased a pair of prescription sunglasses for the "all-arounds". First pair was $500. Yeah. That wasn’t going to happen. So, clip-ons it was to be. And, if I was planning to go read somewhere...don’t forget the reading glasses too!
That’s when the six visits happened. Yes. Six. The eye doctor seemingly couldn’t get it right for my renewal progressive all-around lens to work for reading as well as computer work, but kept insisting he could. So, back to the office I went… six times. Six times, taking my lunch break, or sick time, to jet over to the office for a new fitting, or to try a new type of lens. Six times. Who knows what the problem was, but you know what happened next, right? Yes. I switched doctors. And here’s where the perspective shift happened for me.
Sometimes in life we’re aggravated, agitated, and buck up against the this-is-the-way-it’s-gonna-be moments because we need to let go of something. You know what happened when I went to the new eye doctor? She prescribed the renewal progressives for me and they’re perfect, for their overall job. One time in and they were right. But, they’re not perfect for reading or computer work, so I have my three pairs of glasses. But now, after going through all that process of the previous six visits, I was so happy that these worked well, after only one visit that I was happy to have three pairs of glasses! Thankful, and happy for a trio of glasses! Who would have guessed? It was the aggravating process that got me full circle to happiness that I have three pairs of glasses. The tenacity to get it right was essential, but the openness to see differently got me to peace and joy.
It seems that all of life is about acceptance and the let go. Once we get there, perspective changes and the ability to find peace and joy happens again. When I separated from my husband (over 5 years ago now), it probably took at least 4 years for me to get through all the stages of grief. Acceptance is at the end of those for a reason. But, my point is that the work took longer than it needed to because I kept hanging onto the beliefs like “it shouldn’t be”, “there has to be a different way”, “this isn’t what I ever thought would happen”, “if I do more I can change this”, “God can heal anything”…. on and on those thoughts go for all of us when we’re in a situation we don’t understand. Granted, the issues surrounding the reason we separated were very complicated, and I still believe God can do anything, but just wanting something to be a certain way, doesn’t mean it is, and sometimes, it takes looking through several lenses before we see the whole picture.